"You can't fight evil with a macaroni duck." -- Arthur "They call me the Dream Maker. The Earth Shaker. But you can call me Bubbles." -- Ben Day "We need to move closer on this concept. Mind if I sit in your lap for awhile?" -- Ben Day "Didja ever try to figure out what font you use when you think?" -- Ben Day "Don't tell me your idea. Show me. Then let me borrow it for awhile. I'll give it back, I promise." -- Ben Day "The grid is my altar. I make an offering every day." -- Ben Day "Don't thank me, thank the Zeitgeist. The ideas were there for anyone to grab. I just happened to be first." -- Ben Day "Your money is all the thanks I need." -- Ben Day "Forms are meant to be broken. Then rebuilt into a newer form. Then sold to the highest bidder. Repeat." -- Ben Day "A good way to start is to forget what you're doing completely. This works best two hours before the deadline." -- Ben Day "Repetition bruises the soul. Never, ever repeat yourself. Not even in conversation. Not even if someone says 'pretty please with sugar on top.'" -- Ben Day "If you're getting tired on an all-nighter, whiff your markers to stay awake. Brown is my favorite scent." -- Ben Day "The surest way to become a genius is to assume you are one." -- Ben Day "My sense of space is more spacious than yours. I can't help it; it comes naturally." -- Ben Day "My hands are my eyes, and my eyes, well, are my things I see with, you know." -- Ben Day "Goering said that he reached for his revolver everytime he heard the word culture; when I hear it, I put on my flippers and inflatable waist-duck." -- Ben Day "Zeitgeist? I'll give you a Zeitgeist. I got your Zeitgeist right here." -- Ben Day "Sooner or later you'll see it my way. If you don't, you'll still see it my way." -- Ben Day "Don't _ever_ touch me. I'm special." -- Ben Day "Your first idea on a project is always your best. Not someone else's first idea, mind you, only yours." -- Ben Day "When you're working in my world, you'll live by my rules." -- Ben Day "I get some of my best ideas in the shower. Singing tunes from 'Showboat' helps." -- Ben Day "The objections of the public and the critics are merely static, the backgound noise over which my firm, clear message shouts." -- Ben Day "If in doubt, make it large. If still in doubt, make it black. If still in doubt, shout a lot and break things." -- Ben Day "I keep turning the tables on people so often that I need to use a Lazy Susan." -- Ben Day "A sure-fire way to hide from creative block is build a fort out of couch cushions and stay in there as long as you can." -- Ben Day "I took a walk in the woods the other day. When I shouted something, no echo came back, only praise." -- Ben Day "Cultivate a bored, hateful stare." -- Ben Day "Well, if I had to pinpoint it, I'd say I feel more craftsy than artsy today." -- Ben Day "A temper tantrum never hurt anyone. After all, hurt feelings heal, and glory is forever." -- Ben Day "If you can't understand my work, it's sure as hell not my fault." -- Ben Day "I don't just seize opportunity by the forelock when it comes; I lasso it, ride it like a bronco, then hog-tie it and brand it." -- Ben Day "A mistake is only an arrow that points you in the right direction. A giant-sized art-deco neon sign that lights up a city block, but an arrow nontheless." -- Ben Day "When utilizing a toaster in the design process, it will result in an object that is brown around the edges but burned in the middle, if you don't adjust that little metal doo-hickey on the slot on the side." -- Ben Day "Look at all the white space on that page! Does something to you, doesn't it? Makes me want to dance." -- Ben Day "Everytime I enter a full conference room, I feel like Wyatt Earp walking into the OK Corral. My hand is always on my gun. And my chaps are riding up my thighs." -- Ben Day "You could call me arrogant if our positions were reversed. Wait a minute, I'd be calling you arrogant. I think that would be okay, but it would have to be me, not you. Calling the other arrogant, I mean. No I'm not. You are." -- Ben Day "Bad developer! No Biscuit!" - Daniel K. Appelquist, _XML and SQL_ "Ah, computer dating... it's like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase 'up side your head'." -- Bender "There's no God and your idiotic human ideals are laughable." -- Bender Leela: "You can't just sit here in the dark listening to classical music." Fry: "I could if you hadn't turned on the lights and shut off the stereo." "Kittens give Morbo gas." -- Morbo "Space, it seems to go on and on forever. But then you get to the end and a gorilla starts throwing barrels at you. And that's how you play the game." -- Fry "Please select mode of death. Quick and painless or slow and horrible." -- Suicide Booth "Well, at least here you'll be treated with dignity. Now strip naked and get on the probulator." -- Leela "Well, that's your job! Whether you like it or not. And it's my job to make you do your job, whether I like it or not. Which I do! Very much! Now get to work!" -- Leela's Boss Leela: "Hey! He stole my ring!" Bender: "Sorry. Well, that solves the mystery of the missing ring." "Planet Express - our crew is replaceable, your package isn't!" -- Planet Express Super Bowl commercial Fry: "I'm never gonna get used to the 31st century. Caffeinated bacon? Baconated grapefruit? Admiral Crunch?" Leela: "Well if you don't like that, try some Archduke Chocula." "Now open your mouth and let's have a look at that brain. No, nononono, not that mouth." -- Zoidberg "Young lady! I'm an expert on humans. Now pick a mouth, open it, and say 'bwoowooloowooloo'" -- Zoidberg "You're the kind of guy who visits Jerusalem and doesn't wanna see the sexeteria!" -- Bender "Yes...I guess a robot would have to be crazy to wanna be a folk singer..." -- Bender "C'mon, it's just like making love! Y'know...Left, down...Rotate 62 degrees...Engage rotor..." -- Bender "Yeah! Well, I'm gonna go build my own theme park. With blackjack and hookers! In fact, forget the park!" -- Bender "Oh, no room for Bender, huh? Fine, I'll go build my own lunar lander! With blackjack and hookers! In fact, forget the lunar lander and the blackjack!" -- Bender Moon Farmer: "Yep! Drops down to minus 173." Fry: "Fahrenheit or Celsius?" Moon Farmer: "First one, then t'other." "Bachelor Chow, now with flavor!" - Bachelor Chow commercial "Sheesh, 40,000 channels and only 150 have anything good on." -- Fry *snore* "Kill all humans...Kill all humans...Must kill all hu..." -- Bender "Please, Bender, have some malt liquor. If not for yourself, then for the people who love you." -- Leela "I hate the people who love me and they hate me!" -- Bender "It was a sacred tribute to my ancestral prototypes...which happened to take the form of a drinking contest." -- Bender "The human was impervious to our most powerful magnetic fields, yet in the end he succumbed to a harmless sharpened stick. Heh heh heh." -- Robot man "Now, your basic human is between 3 and 25 feet tall, and is made of a hairy, oily goo wrapped in a t-shirt." -- Bender "At the risk of sounding negative: No!" -- Leela "Let's face it, we're in hot butter here." -- Zoidberg "From now on, you'll be known as 'Wiggles'." -- Bender "Life is hilariously cruel." -- Bender "That's a chick show. I prefer programs of the genre 'World's blankiest blanks'." -- Fry "Look on the screen! It's that guy you are!" -- Fry "Stop exploding, you cowards!" -- Zapp Brannigan "There's already a soda like that. Soylent Cola. ...It varies from person to person." -- Leela "Stupid can opener. You killed my father and now you've come back for me!" -- Bender "There! This'll teach those filthy bastards who's lovable." -- Bender "And so we say goodbye to our beloved pet Nibbler. Who's gone to a place where I too hope one day to go. The toilet." -- Professor Farnsworth "My manwich!" -- Hermes "This is unconfortable and humiliating! Now, if they could put it the form of a suppository..." -- Professor Farnsworth "Yes, we all miss our loved ones and gases." -- Professor Farnsworth "Why couldn't she be the other kind of Mermaid? With the fish part on top and the lady part on the bottom!" -- Fry "Rock crushes scissors! But paper covers rock. And scissors cuts paper! Kif, we have a conundrum. ... Search them for paper! And ... bring me a rock!" -- Zapp Brannigan "Fly the white flag of war!" -- Zapp Brannigan "So what are you doing to protect my constitutional right to bear doomsday devices?" -- Professor Farnsworth "Game's over, losers. I have all the money. Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves." -- Bender "Comedy's a dead art form. Now tragedy...heh heh heh, that's funny." -- Bender "It's always so sad when a friend goes crazy and you have to have a big clam bake and cook him. Yeehaw!" -- Bender "My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope?" -- Fry "Vroom. Vroom. And the winner of the big car race is: Hot Rod Zoidberg!" -- Zoidberg "The important thing is that we don't panic. There are rules for situations like this. Now, the first order of business is lunch. I suggest a nice lobster Zoidberg. I mean, err... lobster Newberg. I mean... Doctor Zoidberg." -- Hermes "I don't like the looks of this doctor. I bet I've lost more patients than he's even treated!" -- Zoidberg "This grim scene of unimaginable carnage is brought to you... by Fishy Joe's! Try our new extreme walrus juice! 100% fresh squeezed walrus! Ride the walrus!" -- Linda, Futurama Newscaster "Good news! There's a report on TV with some very bad news." -- Professor Farnsworth "Hooray, I'm useful! I'm having a wonderful time." -- Zoidberg "It's a humiliating story that I hope never to tell. Well, pull up a chair!" -- Professor Farnsworth "Friends, help! A guinea pig tricked me!" -- Zoidberg "I came here with a simple dream. A dream of killing all humans." -- Bender "Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer 'extortion'. The 'X' makes it sound cool." -- Bender "B-E-N-D-E-R, Beeender! B-E-N-D-E-R, Beeender! Sayin' B-E-N Der..." -- Bender "I don't want you to worry about your jobs while you are away. That's why I'm firing you now." -- Hermes "Wow! Check out that guy! He makes Speedy Gonzales look like regular Gonzales." -- Fry "Scalpel! .... Blood-bucket! ... Priest! Next patient!" -- Zoidberg "Number 10: Chump. Number 9: Chumpette. Number 8: Yours. Number 7: Up. Number 6: Pimp-mobile. Number 5: Bite. Number 4: My. Number 3: Shiny. Number 2: Daffodil. And Bender's number one most frequently uttered word - the word which if uttered will blow up this entire planet: Ass!" -- Zapp Brannigan "Yes, yes. Let's all talk to Zoidberg." -- Professor Farnsworth "Ahh, the hypochondriac's back. So what is it this time?" -- Dr. Zoidberg "It's like a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up." -- Fry "Oh, won't you take me to ... funky town? Oh, won't you take me to ... funky town ..." -- Morbo "She's out of control! You win again gravity!" -- Zapp Brannigan "Some say I'm robbing the cradle, but I say she's robbing the grave!" -- Professor Farnsworth "Listen to me, Fry. Just because you think you're a robot doesn't make you a robot. After all, I think I'm a doctor but that doesn't make me a doctor. These fancy clothes do." -- Zoidberg "Hooray, I'm helping!" -- Zoidberg "What! Who said anything about me secretly wanting to be a folk singer? How ridiculous!" -- Bender "I was a hero to broken robot, cause I was one of them, but how can I sing about being damaged if I'm not? That's like Christina Aguilera singing in Spanish. Ooh, wait! That's it, I'll fake it!" -- Bender "My life, and by extension everyone else's, is meaningless." -- Bender "Yes, yes, yes! You sound like a broken mp3." -- Professor Farnsworth "Bender is great, oh Bender is great! Bender, Bender, Bender..." -- Bender "I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside, where it can fester quietly as a mental illness." -- Leela "Today, I've personalized each of your meals. For example, Amy, you're cute. So I've baked you a pony." -- Bender "Yes, ordinary water. Laced with nothing more than a few spoons full of LSD." -- Professor Farnsworth "My hip hurts! I'm in the middle of cooking a turkey! I have warranty cards to fill out! I am not just making excuses! Alright, I'll go!" -- Professor Farnsworth "Interesting! No, wait. The other thing... tedious." -- Bender "Oh my god! The dead have risen and they're voting Republican!" -- Bart Simpson "I got a fever and the only prescription is more cowbell!" -- Bruce Dickenson "The annexation of Texas looks like one of those events which retard or retrograde the civilization of ages." -- Ralph Waldo Emerson "He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine, receives light without darkening me." -- Thomas Jefferson "History, I believe, furnishes no example of a priest-ridden people maintaining a free civil government. This marks the lowest grade of ignorance of which their civil as well as religious leaders will always avail themselves for their own purposes." -- Thomas Jefferson "'Danger' could be my middle name, but it's John." -- Eddie Izzard "Secret elixir, huh? Well, I'm usually more of a bourbon guy but when push comes to shove I don't know what the hell's in that either." --Charlie Harper "Look, when I say 'I understand' it doesn't mean I agree, it doesn't mean I understand, it doesn't even mean that I'm listening." -- Charlie Harper "Well it doesn't matter if you win or lose; it's whether or not you beat the spread." -- Charlie Harper Charlie Harper: "Drugs! Get me drugs!" Alan Harper: "No, medication will only mask the pain." Charlie: "Fine, mask it! Give it a cape and let it fight crime; I don't give a damn!" Alan Harper: "What is this?" Charlie Harper: "Bourbon." Alan: "You're drinking bourbon while working out?" Charlie: "Gin makes me sweat." "You gotta wonder how long he can keep burning his penis at both ends." -- Berta, about Chanrlie Harper "People who live in fat asses shouldn't throw waffles." -- Charlie Harper "If you snatch enough purses, you learn a few things about Mace." -- Earl Hickey "The war is over, so said the speaker with the flight suit on. Maybe to him I'm just a pawn so he can advance. Remember when I used to dance? Man, all I want to do is dance" -- Gorillaz "Stop throwing the Constitution in my face. It's just a goddamned piece of paper!" -- President Geroge W. Bush